Reflections on Love & Effort

“Love has slowly turned into a word of convenience—something people say in the moment, but rarely live by. What was once a divine emotion meant to define a lifetime is now too often reduced to a passing feeling.”

When Romance On Screen & Buzzwords Shape Unreal Expectations

These days, movies and pop culture are full of love stories that look beautiful—but sometimes leave people feeling confused, hurt, or chasing something that isn’t real love. One recent example is "Saiyaara"(Bollywood, 2025), which has been praised for its music, emotional moments, and the way it shows two imperfect people trying to connect. The Indian Express+3Bollywood Hungama+3Kerala9.com+3

But even "Saiyaara" has critics who say it leans heavily on aesthetics, longing, and idealized romance—grand gestures, dramatic music, poetic dialogues—and less on what love actually is day to day: the hard talks, the disappointments, the moments when things are quiet and effort isn’t visible. fridaynirvana.com+2Feminism in India+2

How Movies Like This Can Mislead

• They often show love as something that solves everything—love, sacrifice, emotion, and reunion are all dramatized. Viewers can end up thinking love is all about pain, poetry, and perfect moments rather than work, consistency, and honesty.

• They may romanticize suffering (“true love hurts,” “you must wait through every trial”) more than they show healthy boundaries, communication, or mutual respect.

• Young people absorbing these stories can feel that unless their love is epic, tragic, or full of visible sacrifice, it isn’t real. They compare their quieter, messier relationships to the idealized ones on screen—and feel lacking.

Modern Terms That Sound Romantic But Can Confuse

Alongside these movie ideals, there are many new words floating around in dating culture—terms that sometimes make ambivalence or one-sided effort seem “normal,” even romantic.

Understanding them can help you spot when love is being confused with something else.

Term

What It Means

What the Risk Is

Situationship

More than friends, less than committed partners. No clear label. Moneycontrol+2The Manual+2

Emotional uncertainty. One person may want more; the other may treat it like “safe convenience.”

Benching

Keeping someone on the side—enough attention to stay interested, but not enough to commit. The Times of India+1

Leaves the other person hanging, always waiting; drains emotional energy.

Orbiting

Someone who stops talking directly but still likes, views, follows—stays present via social media. The Times of India+2Moneycontrol+2

Gives false hope. Makes one person feel seen but not valued.

Cushioning

Keeping backups in emotional or romantic terms—keeping options open in case things don’t work out. Moneycontrol+1

Prevents real commitment. Keeps people in limbo. Emotional betrayal.

Love-bombing

Intense affection, gifts, compliments early on to impress (sometimes to manipulate) before the real flaws show. Moneycontrol+1

Can be overwhelming then disillusioning. When the attention fades, the foundation often wasn’t real.

 Connecting Past & Present: How This Becomes Toxic

When people expect love to always be “epic,” “magical,” or full of romantic sacrifice (because of movies or because of what they’ve seen online), they often ignore or undervalue the more ordinary—and actually essential—parts of love:

• Showing up on ordinary days, not just big moments.

• Talking, even when it’s uncomfortable.

• Trying, even when love doesn’t feel shiny.

• Accepting someone’s flaws and still believing in the bond.

  
  

Meanwhile, if you are the one giving effort and even staying, but the other side is giving only convenience, leaving emotional gaps, or using these modern trends to avoid responsibility, it drains you. Eventually, you may leave—but then people say you “gave up too soon.” Or complain that you weren’t committed enough—ignoring that you were alone in doing the work.

What Love Truly Is (and What It Should Be)

• Love is not always grand or poetic—it’s often quiet, messy, confusing, and made up of small acts.

• Love demands two people choosing each other, facing hardship together, owning up to wrongs, apologizing, learning.

• Love doesn’t make you suffer in silence or walk into mistaking ambiguity for affection.

• Real love is divine—not in the sense of being perfect, but in being sacred in how authentically two hearts commit—even when it’s hard.

We live in a time where effort is often mistaken for desperation. If someone shows up with consistency, with energy, with space for us—we question it. We wonder why they are “too available.” Somewhere along the way, we began to believe that love must be chased, fought for, or earned. That the person who runs from us holds more value than the one who chooses to stay.

These days, so many relationships end quietly. No fight, no effort, no real conversation—just silence and distance. Somewhere, we’ve started to believe that if love is hard, it isn’t worth it. That if someone stays, they must not have options. That love should be exciting only when we are chasing it.

There were once two people. When challenges came, one would step back—silent, distant, avoiding effort. The other kept staying, giving time, love, and energy.

For a while, this worked. But slowly, the one who stayed began to feel tired. Carrying the whole relationship alone was heavy. Love should feel shared, but instead, it felt one-sided.

And when this person, after giving everything, finally walked away—they were blamed. Blamed for leaving. Blamed for “giving up.”

But here’s the truth: Love is about staying, but it is also about both people choosing to stay. If only one person keeps holding on, it becomes draining and unfair. Walking away after trying again and again is not weakness—it is self-respect.

Love doesn’t mean running at the first sign of difficulty. But love also doesn’t mean breaking yourself just to hold something together. The strongest relationships are not built on silence or one-sided effort. They are built when two people show up honestly, imperfectly, but willingly.

Sometimes the bravest act of love is to stay. And sometimes, it is to leave when the staying is only yours.

But real love isn’t about running. Real love is about showing up.

The truth is, no one can love you exactly the way you want. No one can step into your heart and fix the pain you carry. No one can make you feel whole if you don’t already see your own worth.

Your job is to accept yourself—without thinking you are “too much” or “not enough.” Your job is to take care of your heart so that someone else’s love becomes a gift, not a bandage.

Love will never be perfect, but it can be honest. Honest love means presence. It means trying. It means choosing each other even when it isn’t easy.

If we can hold on, talk it out, and not give up at the first sign of struggle—we will discover that true love isn’t about chasing or leaving. It’s about staying, growing, and building together.

So, don’t run away too soon. Sometimes, the love you are looking for is already right in front of you—waiting for you to stay.

👉 If this message touched you, share it with someone who needs to be reminded that love is worth showing up for. Let’s bring back the power of staying. If this story touched you, share it with someone who may need the reminder: true love is not in the leaving, it is in the staying.

 Truths About Love & Self-Worth

• No one is ever going to love you exactly the way you want. That is your job.

• No one is going to read your mind or heal your wounds. That is your job.

• No one will accept you for who you are unless you do it first.

• No one will make you whole unless you stop handing them missing pieces.

• No one will make you feel enough unless you stop apologizing for being too much.

• No one is ever going to love you perfectly. All they can do is love you honestly.

💫 Courtesy: Jay Shetty